Arsiak Vartenian։ During Infertility, Positivity Can Start to Feel Like Another Responsibility…
Arsiak Vartenian, Founder and Host of Smart Is The New Sexy, sհared on LinkedIn։
“People kept telling me to stay positive.
But I needed to know it was okay not to be.
During infertility, positivity can start to feel like another responsibility.
- You’re already taking the medication.
- Going to appointments.
- Watching your body.
- Waiting for calls.
And then somehow, you’re also expected to smile through it all.
- ‘Don’t stress.’
- ‘Try to stay positive.’
- ‘They say mindset matters.’
- ‘Everything happens for a reason.’
And I know most people mean well.
But when you’re already terrified that treatment might fail, those words can land very differently.
Because suddenly you start wondering:
- Am I making this worse by being scared?
- Am I not hopeful enough?
- Did I cry too much?
Should I be handling this better?
And that is an unfair burden to put on someone who is already carrying so much.
There were days when I felt angry.
- There were days when I felt hopeful.
- There were days when I was convinced it would work.
- And days when I couldn’t imagine surviving another loss.
None of it made me a bad infertility patient.
They made me human.
You don’t have to perform optimism to deserve a good outcome.
Sometimes support sounds less like:
‘Stay positive.’
And more like:
‘This is really hard. You don’t have to pretend with me.’
That was the kind of positivity I actually needed.
P.S. What did someone say during your fertility journey that genuinely helped?”
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