Katy Encalade: Donor Conception Should Never Be a Secret
Katy Encalade, President and CEO at Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions, shared on LinkedIn:
“The best thing a kid can feel about their creation story is, ‘I always knew.’
In this mini moment, we explore a firsthand perspective of a mother via egg donation and also through my experience as a donor.
One of the things Emily Patel said in this conversation has stayed with me: sometimes the fear we feel around talking to our children about donor conception has much more to do with what we are carrying as parents than what our children are actually experiencing.
After nearly 20 years in this work, I’ve watched families put so much pressure on themselves to find the ‘right’ age, the ‘right’ words, or the perfect moment to explain their child’s story.
But maybe the goal isn’t a perfect conversation at all.
Maybe it’s creating a family where the story was never a secret. Where curiosity is welcomed. Where questions about genetics aren’t confused with questions about love or belonging.
This Mini Moment is my reflection on Emily’s story, but also on something I believe deeply after years of walking alongside donor-conceived families: openness isn’t one conversation. It’s something we build into the relationship over time.
Our children don’t need us to have every answer. They need to know their story is safe with us. Thank you, Emily, for your openness to share about our journey and to encourage families on this path. For more information about the great work Emily is doing, check out Hopeful Mama Foundation.”
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