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Nov 8, 2026, 14:43

Lucy Froese: Nobody Chooses Infertility

Lucy Froese, Fertility and IVF Coach, shared on LinkedIn:

“ ‘IVF is an elected decision.’

No. It isn’t a lifestyle choice.

And I’m sick of hearing it described as one.

When I heard those words during a debate on Loose Women this week, my blood boiled.

Nobody chooses infertility.
Nobody chooses to spend years trying to have a baby.
Nobody chooses the investigations, injections, scans, procedures and heartbreak.
Nobody chooses the fear of never becoming a parent.
And nobody chooses to spend their life savings on medical treatment that might not even work.

I know because I’ve been there.

I spent three years trying to get pregnant before we turned to IVF.

I was terrified of it.

It felt like a roll of the dice, and I didn’t know how I would cope if it failed.

But IVF was our chance of having a family.

And here’s something else that seems to be forgotten when people casually call IVF ‘elective’.

For many people, there is very little choice at all.

NHS funding depends on where you live.

Some areas offer only one funded cycle. Others have eligibility restrictions that mean people receive no funding whatsoever.
For some, that single cycle is their only opportunity.
Others use their savings, borrow money or make enormous financial sacrifices to pay privately.
And some simply cannot afford treatment.

How is any of that a lifestyle choice?

Infertility is a recognised medical condition.

IVF is medical treatment.

The debate was about whether employees should receive paid time off for fertility treatment.

We can discuss how employers should support their staff and what that support should look like.

But we cannot keep dismissing IVF as though it’s something people have casually decided to do.

Because language matters.

It shapes how employers view fertility treatment.

It shapes whether people feel comfortable asking for support.

And it adds to the shame and silence surrounding infertility.

When I went through IVF, nobody at work knew.

I carried on working while privately going through one of the hardest experiences of my life.