Julianne Boutaleb: What Are We Actually Talking About When We Talk About Miscarriage?
Julianne Boutaleb, Psychological Advisor and Advisory Board member at Fertility Action, shared a post on LinkedIn:
”When we talk about miscarriage, what are we actually talking about?
For a long time, the workplace and public spheres have treated miscarriage as a single, uniform experience. The dominant, well-meaning cultural frame is one of acute grief and bereavement. For many people, this definition resonates and is deeply validating and necessary.
But a vital initiative, The Feminist Miscarriage Project, is challenging us to broaden our understanding. Led by Dr Victoria Browne and Professor Susie Kilshaw, this project highlights that the experience of miscarriage does not hold the exact same meaning for everyone.
By pushing for a “full-spectrum” approach, their work reveals the diverse reality of reproductive lives:
A Landscape of Grief: For many, it is the devastating loss of a future child and a deeply felt bereavement.
Pragmatism and Ambivalance: For others, it is experienced with a sense of clinical detachment, uncertainty, or complex emotional neutrality.
A Sense of Relief: In instances of unintended pregnancy, financial hardship, or lack of support, it can sometimes be met with a sense of relief—a truth that remains heavily stigmatised.
An Overlap of Experiences: Miscarriage does not exist in a vacuum; it structurally overlaps with abortion, fertility treatments, and broader reproductive choices.
Crucially, the project advocates for an intersectional lens. Statistics show that marginalised, racialised, and impoverished communities experience disproportionately higher rates of miscarriage. Yet, their stories are routinely sidelined in mainstream conversations. Organizations like Ebony Bonds and Black Baby Loss Awareness led by Alicia Burnett have partnered with the project to ensure these voices are heard.
True compassion means removing the pressure on individuals to fit into a pre-packaged emotional mould. It means building workplaces, healthcare spaces, and communities where people can say, “This is what my experience meant to me,” and for that expression to be met with respect, solidarity, and tailored support.
Whether marked by sorrow, relief, or ambiguity, every reproductive journey deserves dignity.
And along with my colleague Julia Bueno UKCP reg I’m delighted to say that I will be offering some thoughts on early reproductive losses after ART.
If you’d like to attend, please see the link below for more info.
Really looking forward to meeting with all of you in this space!”
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