Lucy Froese/LinkedIn

Sep 17, 2026, 19:13

Lucy Froese: We Hear Fertility Stories Looking Backwards, But You Have to Live Yours Forward

Lucy Froese, Fertility and IVF Coach, shared on LinkedIn:

“We hear lots of fertility stories once we know how they end.

But living yours when you have absolutely no idea how it will end is very different.

We hear those stories looking backwards.

But you have to live yours forwards.

When you’re waiting to find out if this month has worked.

When you’ve had a miscarriage and desperately want to try again, but you’re terrified of going through another loss.

When another IVF cycle hasn’t worked, and everyone’s asking what’s next, when you haven’t even got your head around what just happened.

When donor eggs have been mentioned, and you’re trying to understand how you feel about a route to motherhood you never imagined taking.

When you’re wondering whether to keep trying naturally, start treatment, have another cycle, take a break, or stop altogether.

Because when someone tells their fertility story afterwards, it’s easy to join the dots.

This happened.

Then this.

Then finally, this.

But when you’re living it, there are no dots to join yet.

You don’t know whether this will be the month.
Whether this embryo will become your baby.
Whether you’ll need treatment.
Whether you’ll need another cycle.
Whether you’ll experience another loss.
Whether motherhood will happen differently from how you imagined.
Or, for some women, whether they will eventually have to find a way forward without the baby they’ve spent years hoping for.

That’s the bit in the middle we don’t talk about enough.

Carrying on with your life while something you want so deeply remains completely unresolved.

Making decisions without knowing if they’re the right ones.

Holding onto hope while trying to protect yourself from being hurt again.

You don’t know the ending yet.

And living in that bit in the middle can be one of the hardest parts of all.”

Lucy Froese: We Hear Fertility Stories Looking Backwards, But You Have to Live Yours Forward