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Margaret Cali: I Was Ready for IVF on Paper, Then I Had to Stop

Margaret Cali/LinkedIn

Oct 21, 2026, 15:52

Margaret Cali: I Was Ready for IVF on Paper, Then I Had to Stop

Margaret Cali, IVF Readiness Integration Strategist, shared on LinkedIn:

“I was ready for IVF on paper. Then I had to stop.

After years of trying and two miscarriages, I did everything I was asked to do to prepare. The appointments, the tests, the plan. From the outside, I looked like I was coping.

Underneath, I was wearing a brave face. I was grieving two babies I’d never really had room to grieve. And the silence I kept had slowly turned into body hate, guilt and a feeling that I wasn’t enough.

My body was being prepared for IVF. The rest of me was running on empty.

Eventually, it caught up with me. I had fertility burnout, so I stopped. At the time, it felt like I’d failed.

Looking back, three things stand out:

Stepping back wasn’t giving up. It showed how much I’d been carrying.

A brave face can hide a great deal, even from the people caring for us.

Being medically prepared and feeling ready are two different things.

When I returned to IVF, I felt more emotionally prepared. The grief hadn’t disappeared, but I’d made room for it and had support around me.

Many women arrive at their first appointment carrying loss, grief and self-blame that never appear on a checklist. Often, nobody asks.

For those supporting women through IVF, how do you make room to ask what she’s carrying before treatment begins?”

Other articles featuring Margaret Cali on Fertility News.