Arora Suhani Gagan: Everyone Was Discussing Her Pregnancy, but Nobody Asked What She Wanted
Arora Suhani Gagan, Counsellor at Mantra Care, shared on LinkedIn:
“Day 8/30 | Navratri Special
Everyone Was Discussing Her Pregnancy. But Nobody Asked What She Wanted.
Imagine this hospital situation.
A 27-year-old pregnant woman visits a hospital with her husband and mother-in-law.
The obstetrician explains that a medical decision needs to be made about her care.
Before the woman can respond, her husband begins asking questions.
Her mother-in-law shares her opinion.
The family discusses what they believe is best.
Everyone appears concerned about her well-being.
But the woman remains quiet.
When the doctor finally asks for her preference, she hesitates.
Then she says:
Can I speak to you alone for a few minutes?
During the private conversation, she explains:
I know my family cares about me. But I feel like I cannot disagree with them.
This situation makes me think about an important question.
When a woman becomes pregnant, does her family automatically gain the right to make healthcare decisions for her?
Family support can be valuable during pregnancy.
But support and control are not the same thing.
An adult pregnant woman who has decision-making capacity has the right to participate in decisions about her own healthcare, including giving or refusing informed consent, subject to applicable law.
As I continue learning about Hospital Counselling and Medical Social Work, I am understanding that maternity care may involve more than medical concerns.
It may also involve:
- Family expectations and pressure
- Fear of disagreeing with a spouse
- Anxiety about medical procedures
- Limited understanding of treatment options
- Financial dependence
- Cultural beliefs surrounding pregnancy
- Concerns about privacy
- Difficulty expressing personal preferences
A hospital counsellor or medical social worker should not make medical decisions for the patient.
But within their professional responsibilities, they may help identify communication barriers, provide psychosocial support and coordinate with the treating team.
The healthcare team can also consider:
- Speaking directly to the patient.
- Explaining options in language she understands.
- Offering private conversations when appropriate.
- Checking whether consent is voluntary.
- Allowing time for questions when clinically possible.
- Recognising possible coercion or safety concerns.
- Following appropriate consent procedures, especially in emergencies.
Sometimes a family may genuinely believe they are protecting someone.
But protecting a woman should not mean silencing her.
This Navratri, we celebrate the goddess as a symbol of strength, wisdom, and power.
Yet in everyday life, women may still struggle to express their wishes about their own bodies.
Perhaps real respect begins with something simple.
Before asking the husband.”
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