Julie Lee: Emotional Impact of Miscarriage and Baby Loss
Julie Lee, Counsellor, Clinical Supervisor and EMDR Therapist at Julie Lee Therapy, shared a post on LinkedIn:
“Miscarriage is in the news today. On BBC Breakfast today they are running a story about a new early care scheme which could prevent thousands of miscarriages a year, according to Tommys. Read the article here.
This feels like a really important step forward. For so long, couples have been expected to experience three miscarriages before they’re offered further investigation or support. Three losses. Three experiences of hope, grief, and uncertainty, before they are deemed ‘eligible’ to be properly seen for further investigations and support.
In my work as a birth trauma and baby loss therapist, I see the impact of this far beyond the clinical definition. The distress doesn’t sit in isolation with the birthing person, it affects partners, who are often holding their own grief while trying to be ‘the strong one.’
It ripples out to grandparents and wider support networks, who are also sometimes grieving behind closed doors. It bleeds into workplaces, where many feel unable to share what they’re going through, or are expected to take a day or two off and return to normal.
And so it continues, miscarriage is carried in silence. We are so rubbish in this country at talking about grief of any kind but miscarriage and baby loss are still so taboo!
I also see how, for some couples, the experience can become all-consuming. The focus on trying again, tracking, hoping, and fearing can take over daily life, impacting relationships, family dynamics, and even the emotional availability for children they may already have.
This is why earlier support matters so much. Not just medically, but emotionally and psychologically, because the effects of loss don’t wait for a third experience to become significant.
This spotlight on earlier care feels long overdue, and incredibly welcome.
Let’s hope this is not just highlighted, but meaningfully implemented nationwide so fewer people have to reach a point of repeated heartbreak before they’re offered the care they need.
I’d really welcome any thoughts, let’s keep the spotlight shining.”
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